Happy 3rd birthday darling Sophie

Today Sophie turns 3. Oh where did the years go?  It seemed like only recently that I held you in my arms for the very first time. It was a short and easy labour. Your puffy lips reminded me of Angelina Jolie. The first week in the hospital was a nightmare as the doctor said you had an infection and antibiotics had to be administered via IV tubes and you had to be fed through tube. Thank God that you recovered quickly and you are healthy.

You requested for a Frozen cake but you hardly ate any of it. Until today you only survive on milk, porridge and eggs. When will you start eating normally like other kids do? Please let it be really soon. That's my wish for your birthday this year. If you ate everything like koko it would be so easy for us to go travelling as a family.

Despite that I love you more and more each day. You are sweet,  intelligent and caring...if you are in a good mood. You love to copy koko and do silly things with him. I hope you and koko continue to play, love, care for and share with one another in your lifetime. He is the closest person you will have besides mommy and daddy.

Here's to more love, laughter and memories for us to cherish. Love you sweet Sophie. XOXO

Sophie potty trained in 2 days!

Sophie never ceases to amaze mommy. At 2 years and 5 months she is fully potty trained... And she did it in 2 days!  On the first day there were a couple of accidents. By the second day she could tell us whenever she needed to shi shi or pang sai. And she doesn't even wet her diapers at night!  In 2 days!  I am still overjoyed and I can't believe my little ace  could do it in 2 days. Josiah was only potty trained at 2.5 years old and still wore diapers at night time for a long time before he could do away with night time diapers.
Sophie and her new favourite toy Olaf.

The fall

Darling Sophie had a very bad fall on 12 May 2015 which required 5 stitches. The accident is still so fresh in my mind. I have been putting off writing about it because it is just so heart wrenching that I wish to forget and erase it forever but failed so miserably. The sight of her blood gushing from the cut and staining her whole face, clothes,  floor and on me as I carried her is still so raw and will forever be etched in my mind. The whole incident has left a profound impact on the way I view safety. With toddlers we must always be on alert and never ever think that the worst will never happen to my children. How wrong I was. Now I have baby proofed every nook and cranny and sharp edges. It looks ugly but it's got nothing on the safety and well being of my children which is the utmost important thing right now. I am so sorry that mommy did not look after you diligently which resulted in a scar on your forehead. I hope it fades in time.

Super Sophie

Sophie is 23 months old and my little precious never ceases to amaze me. At 23 months old she can:-
- recognize and say alphabets A to Z
- recognize numbers and say 1 to 10
- identify colours
- identify shapes
- verbalize the spelling of her name ie. S-O-P-H-I-E
- sing a few nursery rhymes
- dance like her life depended on it :)
- throw tantrum if she does not get what she wants
My Sophie is just super! :)

Sophie's almost 2!

I have been guilty of neglecting this blog.
Sophie will be 2 next month and I am hard-pressed to make an entry here. After all, the last post was about 5 months ago.
Sophie is still the same picky or finicky (as the paed puts it) eater as she has been all the while. But I am (a bit more) pleased to report that she has been taking blended porridge which she then progressed to half blended porridge and now to only blending the vege and meat porridge after much cajoling from the helper and a big thank you to the tablet which is her everyday companion during milk feeding and meal time, without which she and I, would not have survived the food strike. Thank goodness for technology. It is not the most ideal situation but when you are at wits' end and you are in my shoes, anything to make her eat is a lifesaver. She still needs spoon feeding when it comes to drinking milk. Sweet Sophie has never, and will not drink milk from the bottle.
Weight wise, she is pretty chubby and tall for her age :)
She knows number 1 through 10 and can identify colours. She is picking up things very fast and making short sentences of her own. Can't wait for the next challenge: potty training!

A little too late

I have been contemplating this for a very long time and with a very heart, I decided to do it today. 1 October 2014. I brought Sophie to the barber to get her head clean shaven. My heart literally sank when the razors glided on her head and her hair fell away. When she was born I was adamant that I did not want her to be shaved at full moon because I believed and hoped that her hair will grow. But she's now 17 months+ and her hair is still so scarce. Everyone says that shaving her bald will ensure that her hair will grow nice and thick. Although I was reluctant I finally decided to do it and not delay any further.  It'll be worse if she's bald when she's older right? And at least I can say that I've tried even if it turns out to be another old wive's tale.
I am still reeling from the initial shock seeing Sophie bald.  I think I need some time to get used to her new look. She looks so different.
On another note I am sad to say that Sophie's picky and slow eating has gotten worse. She dislikes milk and food. The only thing she takes is half boiled egg! My dear Sophie please please please eat so that you may grow strong and healthy. And I need my sanity back too.

To infinity and beyond

My darling Josiah, do you know how much joy you have brought into my life? I was just asking darling husband if he remembers life before Josiah, and honestly we can't. The things you do and say always cracks us up. Especially when you speak like a grown up. It's amazing what little kids pick up from adults and that is why it is so important that we set a good example for our children. They are an extension of ourselves.
Josiah is 3+ now but his understanding surpasses that of children his age. Or maybe I'm just bias. Be that as it may, we really enjoy his company. He is sociable and is able to interact with people across all ages. I am really proud of him. I hope Sophie follows his footsteps.
Oh and this is worthy of putting down in writing. Every night he tells me "I love you Mama, so much, to infinity and beyond times infinity and beyond times infinity and beyond..(and it goes on)."
Love you to infinity and back my Josiah!

Sophie is ONE!

Sophie turned ONE on 26/4/2014 and we had a big celebration at home for her. We had food from Hai Lee Buffet Village and lots of relatives and close friends came to join us on this joyous occassion. Her first birthday cake was a huge number "1" sponsored by Poh Poh and Koong Koong. Sophie also received many presents and ang pows.
The day that she made her debut into this world a year ago is still fresh on my mind. We have come a long way. Of course the journey has not been an easy one. I still struggle with her feedings. She is such a poor eater and needs to be fed milk through a syringe. I wonder how long this will go on. I do hope she will be more independent when it comes to drinking milk. I have to start her on sippy cup and the straw soon. This will activate her jaw muscles and aid in her speech development.
It was and is still very stressful on me when she refuses food. I was desperate and willing to try anything to get her to eat. Then mom and dad suggested that she be adopted by a godmother so she will be easier to take care. So we approached Doris and she is now Sophie's godmother.  A week ago I decided to take her off milk completely during the day and feed her porridge instead. There is some improvement so far, but still she is eating little for her age. She is 9.7kg now and Dr Loke (as usual) assured me that there is nothing to worry about and she will eat when she is hungry so no point in forcing her. In her words "just enjoy your baby". I certainly will try to do that. Enjoy the moment and worry less :)

When they both fell ill

Last week was terrible. First Josiah was sick and had to stay home the whole week. His appetite dropped drastically that he has lost some weight and looks even skinner now. Then it was Sophie's turn to fall sick. Not only did she have high fever of 39.3, she was wheezing and asthmatic. I had to bring her to the paed to be nebulized several times a day. The travelling to and fro was exhausting and not to mention the sleepless nights that I had to endure. The good news is they are both so much better now. We will be heading to KL tomorrow. Hope I can manage the two of them while Daddy is away.
I was concerned about Sophie's diet for a while now. She doesn't seem to enjoy food and milk. She still has to be syringed fed, and food has to be either pureed or mashed until soft. I also have not introduced salt into her diet as babies this young will not know the difference.
Anyhow when Sophie was at the paed last week I took the opportunity to tell the Dr about my concerns. As expected, the Dr said that there was nothing wrong with her, her weight is good, and babies will eat when they are hungry. Babies never starve themselves, so do not force her to eat! When I told her that I have not introduced salt into her diet, the paed actually said it was alright to put a tiny bit of sea salt to bring out the flavour of the food. She also said that she can drink honey much to my surprise because it is a common rule of thumb and stated in every baby book that I have read that honey can only be given after 1 year old. Anyway I am skeptical about that so I will not be giving her honey anytime soon (although there is no family history of any allergy to honey, or any food actually).
However, since Sophie has been rejecting food, which means turning her head away when the spoon is put at her mouth, or using both hands to push the food away, or shaking her head vigorously for 2 weeks now and the food ends up being thrown away (which I cannot stand) AND the fact that she is almost 11 months, I finally caved in. I put a tiny little bit of sea salt into her porridge and you wouldn't believe it. She likes the porridge! Not in love but at least she was not rejecting the food anymore. Oh my, my little baby is a food connoisseur!

Josiah is down with fever

Poor Josiah is down with fever since Saturday night after going swimming in PSC in the evening. The weather was hot and hazy. He has no appetite to eat and everything he eats or drink is vomited. This morning I took him to the clinic and they took blood sample to test for dengue. Thank God it is not dengue. Hope he gets well soon.
On another note, Josiah is now diaper free. He has been diaperless for weeks now. We were worried that he might wet the bed but so far there hasn't been any incident. He will usually wake his dad up in the middle of the night when he needs to pee. 

Josiah the little home minister

Josiah is now very verbal and he questions a lot of things. An example of a conversation we had last week: Daddy had to go to Putrajaya for a hearing so he took the earliest flight there in the morning. When Josiah woke up, he immediately noticed Daddy's absence. He promptly asked me the following questions:-
J : Where's papa?
Me : Papa's gone to work.
J : Huh? So early ah?
Me : Yes.
J: Why?
Me : Papa has gone to KL for work.
J : Oh. Drive ah?
Me : No. He took the aeroplane.
J : Oh. Alone ah?
Me : No, he went with uncle X.
I found this so hilarious! I wonder who's interrogation skills he inherited.

Sophie's 10 months milestone

My darling Sophie is already 10 months old. How time flies. She is more mobile now as she can crawl, stand up on her own and recently started to cruise. She also knows how to vent her frustration at her brother when he snatches her toy by screaming! Can't believe she is going to be 1 soon.
The only thing that makes me worry is that she still doesn't want to drink milk from the bottle, hence she is fed milk through a syringe. She also refuses porridge unless it is blended. I know that babies at this age not only take porridge easily, but some even start taking soft food like bee hoon, spaghetti and steamed vege. But not my Sophie unfortunately. I tried giving her biscuits that melt in the mouth but she either gags on it or refuses them. I really am at wit's end.
I have also stopped breastfeeding/pumping. For the record, Sophie was exclusively bf until 6 months and until 9 months had bf mixed with formula. If she had been a good drinker with a healthy appetite for my breastmilk I would have definitely continued. But drinking is a nightmare  for Sophie (be it formula or bf) that I could no longer carry on as I had no motivation left. Well, at least my breastfeeding journey lasted longer for Sophie than Josiah.
For now I hope Sophie will learn to chew with her two bottom teeth and be able to take at least mashed porridge.
It's also time to plan for Sophie's 1st big do! :)

Small eater

Dear Sophie is such a small eater and drinker that I can't help but worry that she may not be getting enough. She drinks about 15 oz of milk a day and she has cereal twice a day but even that is a struggle for her. She takes more than an hour to finish 3 oz of milk each time. Feeding time is always so stressful for me. She doesn't seem to enjoy milk and food. Most other babies I know finish their milk within 5-10 minutes. Sophie really test my patience. I am going crazy. Why are you such a difficult baby? Please be good and finish your milk/cereal :(

Josiah is a real cutie pie

Josiah may be only 3 years old, but his command of language and understanding exceeds that of a child his age. I think it was a good decision to send him to nursery so that he gets good peer pressure. Of course, the only bad thing is that he often falls sick but it is inevitable.
He is progressing well and I enjoy his company (most of the time). Even mom says that he is so cute. Not so much of what he says but rather how he says it. I cannot help but realise that his speech and actions mimic hubby and I. Therefore it is very important that we speak and do the right because children pick it up, even subconsciously.
It is a joy to have my two little angels. I feel extremely blessed.

Sophie's having fever again

Sophie is now 6 months and 5 days old. Although she is exclusively breastfed, she has fallen ill a few times. This time, she had fever since last Thursday and I took her to Dr L yesterday. As the fever is only low grade, she was given a antibiotics over a course of 7 days. It started with Josiah being sick and then hubby got infected, then myself, then MIL and even the helper. My friend Carol said that I should not doubt my breastmilk because if Sophie did not drink my breastmilk, she would be more sick than she is now. I must admit that I do feel demotivated sometimes especially when Sophie rejects my milk and she drinks so little. At the 6 month weigh in, her weight is 6.9kg. Dr L says she is on the small side but there is nothing to worry about as long as Sophie is healthy and is meeting the milestones for baby her age. She says its not good to have a fat baby :)
I have been feeding her one spoon of cereal everyday for the past two weeks but everytime she spits it all out. I have even tried giving pureed pumpkin, banana and avocado. She will thrust her tongue and spit out everything. I am started to get a little bit worried. I remember that when Josiah started on semi solids, it took him about 4-5 days to muster the ability to accept food from a spoon and swallowing. I hope Sophie will start eating soon. We have been praying every day for Sophie's appetite for milk and food to increase so that she will grow bigger, healthy and strong.

My Sophie girl can flip onto her tummy

Sophie started to flip onto her tummy shortly after turning 4 months old. She can also dislodge the stuck arm from her body. This is the first of many milestones to come. Sophie is such a lovely baby...until you hear her cry! For a little baby, she must have pretty huge lungs because she can really screaamm!
Sophie is still 100% breastfed. But since turning 4mo, she has become cheeky and refuses to drink milk. Her milk intake has taken a dip and often takes a very long time to finish a bottle of milk. According to the paed, it is most likely something I ate which passed on to her. I must be very careful with my diet but I find it very hard to pinpoint to a specific food that I ate which is causing her to reject the milk.
Before I forget last month I had the dreaded mastitis. I had to be on antibiotics for a week. Breasts were swollen, engorged and painful. I also had fever and felt so ill. Sophie if you're reading this in the future please know how much I endured the hardship of breastfeeding and still persevered because I love you so much. Of course Josiah has also been benefitting because he is drinking my breastmilk mixed with formula/milo/horlicks of course. And it has to be freshly expressed otherwise he will reject it.

Josiah's 3rd birthday

Josiah's 3rd birthday this year was celebrated in his nursery with his classmates. Months  before his birthday he requested for a Ben 10 birthday cake. He is now into Ben 10 and has quite a few clothes with this cartoon character on it. Grandma and grandpa bought him the Omnitrix (a gadget which looks like a watch that can transform Ben into alien characters) for his birthday. On the weekend of his birthday, we took him to KL as it coincided with Daddy's games, while Sophie was taken care by Grandma. Daddy bought him a tub of dinosaurs which Josiah chose himself from Toys 'R Us. Not surprisingly, he grew bored of it after a couple of days and is now lying in my living room (along with many other abandoned toys) collecting dust. This is the reason I always tell Daddy not to spend too much on toys. Children outgrow them very quickly.
Josiah started attending full day care (until 5.30pm) since August. He is adapting well there and the teachers feedback that he is a lovely child. I am happy to hear this. Children tend to be better behaved when they are out of their comfort zone. He has also started to eat rice! This is a milestone for him. Much to my delight. I have attempted countless times but failed miserably. This is certainly a good kind of peer pressure. The downside of sending him to day care is that he has fallen sick a few times. Besides the serious outbreak of coxsackie, he has been having running nose and chronic cough. At the moment he is on antibiotics. Sophie has also caught fever from him. I pray that both Josiah and Sophie will recover soon.

The dreaded coxsackie virus

Poor Josiah is down with hand-foot-mouth disease caused by the dreaded coxsackie virus. He got it from a child at the nursery that Josiah goes to. I don't know why the school was not closed as this is a highly contagious disease though common among children. Instead the school asked us to keep him at home for a few days. Even then Josiah was not spared. He has fever and blisters in his mouth and throat and spots on his hands and feet. There is no medication for it except paracetamol for the fever and the paed said that he just has to wait it out and let the body fight it so that he can build immunity against this disease. However this does not mean that he won't get it again. He has lost his appetite but it is vital to keep him hydrated.
The past few days has been tough and this week he will be staying home because aunty has gone overseas. Talk about bad timing.
When your child is sick the parents suffer too and with two young kids all hell breaks loose.
Sophie needs to be carried. She cries when she is put down. I just hope she doesn't get the virus from her brother.

Sophie's full moon

How time flies! Sophie's full moon was celebrated by distribution of Eaton's nasi kunyit (yums!) and a luncheon at Starview attended by family and daddy's close friends. We had 4 tables and roast suckling pig, though I abstained because I don't eat pork. I wasn't really keen on having the luncheon but Daddy wanted to have it because we celebrated Josiah's full moon at Jade Palace the last time (but no roast suckling pig then).
Sophie is now fully on breast milk. I pump 90% of the time and DL only during night time. This is because she often falls asleep after only sucking for a few minutes and then she gets hungry every hour. This in turn makes her very fussy...and leaves me frustrated. Did I mention that breastfeeding is one of the hardest, most demanding job and requires utmost discipline - more on this later, I will need to write a separate post on breastfeeding alone.
The other advantage of feeding expressed breast milk from the bottle is that I can see how much milk she drinks as I am concerned that she is not getting enough milk and not gaining enough weight if she DL exclusively. At the moment it is difficult for her to even finish 3oz of milk at every 3 hourly feedings. I hope and pray that her appetite improves and weight increases. Mommy is working very hard to maintain a good supply of breast milk for you Sophie by pumping every 3 hours. The fridge is now full of Mommy's milk. There are about 30+ bottles of breast milk for you. I tried to give some to koko Josiah, but he doesn't like it. He said its 'yucky' and 'stinky'. Mommy is so sad that you rejected Mommy's milk because it is the best food that you can ever have. Well, at least you had some when you were a baby. 
I am also concerned that Josiah is not gaining enough weight because at almost 3 years old, he still only eats porridge and refuses rice and spits out every other food. Children from 1 year old onwards should be joining in family meals and eating a variety of foods. Being taken care of by my aunty and great grandmother is also not helping because they only feed him porridge. It is too much work for great grandmother to prepare rice and dishes for him. Also they need to be consistent in training him to eat rice. This is stressing me out! Actually I have thought of sending him full day at Twinkle Tots so that he can eat normal meals once he sees other children eating too. But it would be harsh to stop now considering the financial constraints they are having. For now I can only hope and pray that koko Josiah will be a good boy and eat normal food.

Love vs Like

I recently bought a book on disciplining children between the ages 2 and 12 called "1-2-3 Magic" because I am finding it a challenge to raise my son who is going through the "terrible twos". Actually it started way before he hit 2. Anyway, I have read only 1/3 of the book but I found some very useful information and insights into how to discipline children with real life examples which I can identify with. I do not think Josiah is very different from other children his age. Sure, mealtimes are always a battle and he does the opposite of what he is told but aren't all boys like that?
One of the things discussed in the book which got me thinking is do we love and like our children? Of course we love our children. A mother and child's bond is one of the most intimate and begins from the time the child is conceived in the mother's womb. But do we necessarily like our children? Do we always enjoy their company? Does the screaming, yelling and crying get to us sometimes? Do we look forward to a break from them for a couple of days? I know I need a break. In fact I wish I could just take flight and journey to a faraway land and leave all my cares and worries behind. I feel as though I am onboard the Titanic and all the weight is pulling me downwards and I fear that I am sinking deeper and deeper until I take my final breath.