Thursday, 28 November 2013
Small eater
Dear Sophie is such a small eater and drinker that I can't help but worry that she may not be getting enough. She drinks about 15 oz of milk a day and she has cereal twice a day but even that is a struggle for her. She takes more than an hour to finish 3 oz of milk each time. Feeding time is always so stressful for me. She doesn't seem to enjoy milk and food. Most other babies I know finish their milk within 5-10 minutes. Sophie really test my patience. I am going crazy. Why are you such a difficult baby? Please be good and finish your milk/cereal :(
Tuesday, 29 October 2013
Josiah is a real cutie pie
Josiah may be only 3 years old, but his command of language and understanding exceeds that of a child his age. I think it was a good decision to send him to nursery so that he gets good peer pressure. Of course, the only bad thing is that he often falls sick but it is inevitable.
He is progressing well and I enjoy his company (most of the time). Even mom says that he is so cute. Not so much of what he says but rather how he says it. I cannot help but realise that his speech and actions mimic hubby and I. Therefore it is very important that we speak and do the right because children pick it up, even subconsciously.
It is a joy to have my two little angels. I feel extremely blessed.
He is progressing well and I enjoy his company (most of the time). Even mom says that he is so cute. Not so much of what he says but rather how he says it. I cannot help but realise that his speech and actions mimic hubby and I. Therefore it is very important that we speak and do the right because children pick it up, even subconsciously.
It is a joy to have my two little angels. I feel extremely blessed.
Sophie's having fever again
Sophie is now 6 months and 5 days old. Although she is exclusively breastfed, she has fallen ill a few times. This time, she had fever since last Thursday and I took her to Dr L yesterday. As the fever is only low grade, she was given a antibiotics over a course of 7 days. It started with Josiah being sick and then hubby got infected, then myself, then MIL and even the helper. My friend Carol said that I should not doubt my breastmilk because if Sophie did not drink my breastmilk, she would be more sick than she is now. I must admit that I do feel demotivated sometimes especially when Sophie rejects my milk and she drinks so little. At the 6 month weigh in, her weight is 6.9kg. Dr L says she is on the small side but there is nothing to worry about as long as Sophie is healthy and is meeting the milestones for baby her age. She says its not good to have a fat baby :)
I have been feeding her one spoon of cereal everyday for the past two weeks but everytime she spits it all out. I have even tried giving pureed pumpkin, banana and avocado. She will thrust her tongue and spit out everything. I am started to get a little bit worried. I remember that when Josiah started on semi solids, it took him about 4-5 days to muster the ability to accept food from a spoon and swallowing. I hope Sophie will start eating soon. We have been praying every day for Sophie's appetite for milk and food to increase so that she will grow bigger, healthy and strong.
I have been feeding her one spoon of cereal everyday for the past two weeks but everytime she spits it all out. I have even tried giving pureed pumpkin, banana and avocado. She will thrust her tongue and spit out everything. I am started to get a little bit worried. I remember that when Josiah started on semi solids, it took him about 4-5 days to muster the ability to accept food from a spoon and swallowing. I hope Sophie will start eating soon. We have been praying every day for Sophie's appetite for milk and food to increase so that she will grow bigger, healthy and strong.
Thursday, 19 September 2013
My Sophie girl can flip onto her tummy
Sophie started to flip onto her tummy shortly after turning 4 months old. She can also dislodge the stuck arm from her body. This is the first of many milestones to come. Sophie is such a lovely baby...until you hear her cry! For a little baby, she must have pretty huge lungs because she can really screaamm!
Sophie is still 100% breastfed. But since turning 4mo, she has become cheeky and refuses to drink milk. Her milk intake has taken a dip and often takes a very long time to finish a bottle of milk. According to the paed, it is most likely something I ate which passed on to her. I must be very careful with my diet but I find it very hard to pinpoint to a specific food that I ate which is causing her to reject the milk.
Before I forget last month I had the dreaded mastitis. I had to be on antibiotics for a week. Breasts were swollen, engorged and painful. I also had fever and felt so ill. Sophie if you're reading this in the future please know how much I endured the hardship of breastfeeding and still persevered because I love you so much. Of course Josiah has also been benefitting because he is drinking my breastmilk mixed with formula/milo/horlicks of course. And it has to be freshly expressed otherwise he will reject it.
Sophie is still 100% breastfed. But since turning 4mo, she has become cheeky and refuses to drink milk. Her milk intake has taken a dip and often takes a very long time to finish a bottle of milk. According to the paed, it is most likely something I ate which passed on to her. I must be very careful with my diet but I find it very hard to pinpoint to a specific food that I ate which is causing her to reject the milk.
Before I forget last month I had the dreaded mastitis. I had to be on antibiotics for a week. Breasts were swollen, engorged and painful. I also had fever and felt so ill. Sophie if you're reading this in the future please know how much I endured the hardship of breastfeeding and still persevered because I love you so much. Of course Josiah has also been benefitting because he is drinking my breastmilk mixed with formula/milo/horlicks of course. And it has to be freshly expressed otherwise he will reject it.
Josiah's 3rd birthday
Josiah's 3rd birthday this year was celebrated in his nursery with his classmates. Months before his birthday he requested for a Ben 10 birthday cake. He is now into Ben 10 and has quite a few clothes with this cartoon character on it. Grandma and grandpa bought him the Omnitrix (a gadget which looks like a watch that can transform Ben into alien characters) for his birthday. On the weekend of his birthday, we took him to KL as it coincided with Daddy's games, while Sophie was taken care by Grandma. Daddy bought him a tub of dinosaurs which Josiah chose himself from Toys 'R Us. Not surprisingly, he grew bored of it after a couple of days and is now lying in my living room (along with many other abandoned toys) collecting dust. This is the reason I always tell Daddy not to spend too much on toys. Children outgrow them very quickly.
Josiah started attending full day care (until 5.30pm) since August. He is adapting well there and the teachers feedback that he is a lovely child. I am happy to hear this. Children tend to be better behaved when they are out of their comfort zone. He has also started to eat rice! This is a milestone for him. Much to my delight. I have attempted countless times but failed miserably. This is certainly a good kind of peer pressure. The downside of sending him to day care is that he has fallen sick a few times. Besides the serious outbreak of coxsackie, he has been having running nose and chronic cough. At the moment he is on antibiotics. Sophie has also caught fever from him. I pray that both Josiah and Sophie will recover soon.
Josiah started attending full day care (until 5.30pm) since August. He is adapting well there and the teachers feedback that he is a lovely child. I am happy to hear this. Children tend to be better behaved when they are out of their comfort zone. He has also started to eat rice! This is a milestone for him. Much to my delight. I have attempted countless times but failed miserably. This is certainly a good kind of peer pressure. The downside of sending him to day care is that he has fallen sick a few times. Besides the serious outbreak of coxsackie, he has been having running nose and chronic cough. At the moment he is on antibiotics. Sophie has also caught fever from him. I pray that both Josiah and Sophie will recover soon.
Monday, 24 June 2013
The dreaded coxsackie virus
Poor Josiah is down with hand-foot-mouth disease caused by the dreaded coxsackie virus. He got it from a child at the nursery that Josiah goes to. I don't know why the school was not closed as this is a highly contagious disease though common among children. Instead the school asked us to keep him at home for a few days. Even then Josiah was not spared. He has fever and blisters in his mouth and throat and spots on his hands and feet. There is no medication for it except paracetamol for the fever and the paed said that he just has to wait it out and let the body fight it so that he can build immunity against this disease. However this does not mean that he won't get it again. He has lost his appetite but it is vital to keep him hydrated.
The past few days has been tough and this week he will be staying home because aunty has gone overseas. Talk about bad timing.
When your child is sick the parents suffer too and with two young kids all hell breaks loose.
Sophie needs to be carried. She cries when she is put down. I just hope she doesn't get the virus from her brother.
The past few days has been tough and this week he will be staying home because aunty has gone overseas. Talk about bad timing.
When your child is sick the parents suffer too and with two young kids all hell breaks loose.
Sophie needs to be carried. She cries when she is put down. I just hope she doesn't get the virus from her brother.
Friday, 31 May 2013
Sophie's full moon
How time flies! Sophie's full moon was celebrated by distribution of Eaton's nasi kunyit (yums!) and a luncheon at Starview attended by family and daddy's close friends. We had 4 tables and roast suckling pig, though I abstained because I don't eat pork. I wasn't really keen on having the luncheon but Daddy wanted to have it because we celebrated Josiah's full moon at Jade Palace the last time (but no roast suckling pig then).
Sophie is now fully on breast milk. I pump 90% of the time and DL only during night time. This is because she often falls asleep after only sucking for a few minutes and then she gets hungry every hour. This in turn makes her very fussy...and leaves me frustrated. Did I mention that breastfeeding is one of the hardest, most demanding job and requires utmost discipline - more on this later, I will need to write a separate post on breastfeeding alone.
The other advantage of feeding expressed breast milk from the bottle is that I can see how much milk she drinks as I am concerned that she is not getting enough milk and not gaining enough weight if she DL exclusively. At the moment it is difficult for her to even finish 3oz of milk at every 3 hourly feedings. I hope and pray that her appetite improves and weight increases. Mommy is working very hard to maintain a good supply of breast milk for you Sophie by pumping every 3 hours. The fridge is now full of Mommy's milk. There are about 30+ bottles of breast milk for you. I tried to give some to koko Josiah, but he doesn't like it. He said its 'yucky' and 'stinky'. Mommy is so sad that you rejected Mommy's milk because it is the best food that you can ever have. Well, at least you had some when you were a baby.
I am also concerned that Josiah is not gaining enough weight because at almost 3 years old, he still only eats porridge and refuses rice and spits out every other food. Children from 1 year old onwards should be joining in family meals and eating a variety of foods. Being taken care of by my aunty and great grandmother is also not helping because they only feed him porridge. It is too much work for great grandmother to prepare rice and dishes for him. Also they need to be consistent in training him to eat rice. This is stressing me out! Actually I have thought of sending him full day at Twinkle Tots so that he can eat normal meals once he sees other children eating too. But it would be harsh to stop now considering the financial constraints they are having. For now I can only hope and pray that koko Josiah will be a good boy and eat normal food.
Sophie is now fully on breast milk. I pump 90% of the time and DL only during night time. This is because she often falls asleep after only sucking for a few minutes and then she gets hungry every hour. This in turn makes her very fussy...and leaves me frustrated. Did I mention that breastfeeding is one of the hardest, most demanding job and requires utmost discipline - more on this later, I will need to write a separate post on breastfeeding alone.
The other advantage of feeding expressed breast milk from the bottle is that I can see how much milk she drinks as I am concerned that she is not getting enough milk and not gaining enough weight if she DL exclusively. At the moment it is difficult for her to even finish 3oz of milk at every 3 hourly feedings. I hope and pray that her appetite improves and weight increases. Mommy is working very hard to maintain a good supply of breast milk for you Sophie by pumping every 3 hours. The fridge is now full of Mommy's milk. There are about 30+ bottles of breast milk for you. I tried to give some to koko Josiah, but he doesn't like it. He said its 'yucky' and 'stinky'. Mommy is so sad that you rejected Mommy's milk because it is the best food that you can ever have. Well, at least you had some when you were a baby.
I am also concerned that Josiah is not gaining enough weight because at almost 3 years old, he still only eats porridge and refuses rice and spits out every other food. Children from 1 year old onwards should be joining in family meals and eating a variety of foods. Being taken care of by my aunty and great grandmother is also not helping because they only feed him porridge. It is too much work for great grandmother to prepare rice and dishes for him. Also they need to be consistent in training him to eat rice. This is stressing me out! Actually I have thought of sending him full day at Twinkle Tots so that he can eat normal meals once he sees other children eating too. But it would be harsh to stop now considering the financial constraints they are having. For now I can only hope and pray that koko Josiah will be a good boy and eat normal food.
Saturday, 18 May 2013
Love vs Like
I recently bought a book on disciplining children between the ages 2 and 12 called "1-2-3 Magic" because I am finding it a challenge to raise my son who is going through the "terrible twos". Actually it started way before he hit 2. Anyway, I have read only 1/3 of the book but I found some very useful information and insights into how to discipline children with real life examples which I can identify with. I do not think Josiah is very different from other children his age. Sure, mealtimes are always a battle and he does the opposite of what he is told but aren't all boys like that?
One of the things discussed in the book which got me thinking is do we love and like our children? Of course we love our children. A mother and child's bond is one of the most intimate and begins from the time the child is conceived in the mother's womb. But do we necessarily like our children? Do we always enjoy their company? Does the screaming, yelling and crying get to us sometimes? Do we look forward to a break from them for a couple of days? I know I need a break. In fact I wish I could just take flight and journey to a faraway land and leave all my cares and worries behind. I feel as though I am onboard the Titanic and all the weight is pulling me downwards and I fear that I am sinking deeper and deeper until I take my final breath.
One of the things discussed in the book which got me thinking is do we love and like our children? Of course we love our children. A mother and child's bond is one of the most intimate and begins from the time the child is conceived in the mother's womb. But do we necessarily like our children? Do we always enjoy their company? Does the screaming, yelling and crying get to us sometimes? Do we look forward to a break from them for a couple of days? I know I need a break. In fact I wish I could just take flight and journey to a faraway land and leave all my cares and worries behind. I feel as though I am onboard the Titanic and all the weight is pulling me downwards and I fear that I am sinking deeper and deeper until I take my final breath.
Monday, 13 May 2013
Mother's Day 2013
Yesterday (12/05/2013) was Mother's Day. It is a day that I want to always remember and that is why I want to write it down lest I forget. I don't usually blog about negative, depressing or things that upset me. But this is an exception. Notice the word "Happy" is dropped from the title.
To start off, there was no celebration because I am still under confinement. Neither were there any surprises, flowers or even a card. But that's Okay because I have learnt not to expect anything. When you expect things and don't get them you, the only person who gets disappointed and crushed is yourself. So yes, I have realised that a long time ago.
I am told that when one is under confinement, one must not cry. Every tear drop is likened to a drop of blood. It is said that if you cry during confinement, you will become blind (Version 1) or you will have poor eyesight in the future (Version 2). Either one is bad news. But cried I did. A whole bucket load of tears. I cried for 3 hours. I cried and cried and cried until I might as well have used up my entire life's quota of tears until I had no more. But I was wrong I later found out because I cried again today.
The million dollar question is why I cried so much. I attribute it to a number of things but mainly its a build up of pent up emotions of sorts. I know that a tiny new baby brings so much joy. But it also comes with it a slew of not so joyful moments ie. exhaustion from round the clock attention that the baby demands: breast feeding, pumping, changing of diapers when baby poos - up to 10 times of poo a day, washing bottles, preparing milk, rocking baby to sleep when she is cranky and the list goes on. Only a mother who fully breastfeeds will understand. All this has made me sleep deprived. How I long for a straight 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep to rest my tired soul and body. I suppose I could take the easy way out and leave everything to the confinement lady and let her feed formula milk but I refuse to do this to my child. No matter how difficult it is I am bent on breastfeeding my children because it is the best for them. And my hard work has paid off because I have enough breastmilk to sustain Sophie.
Because of the exhaustion and sleep deprivation, I have become depressed (using this term loosely). What I really need is for hubby to empathise with me and show some appreciation. A simple "I may not understand completely what you are going through but I know it hasn't been easy. I want you to know I appreciate all that you are doing and Thank You for doing what you do!!" would have made me feel appreciated. Instead he does not spend time with me or Sophie choosing instead to watch TV and checking whatsapp all the time because he is part of various chat groups. He also promised to take care of Josiah but it has not relieved me of my duties, worries and stress. I have to wake them up in the mornings. He doesn't even clean him. School starts at 8.30am but they don't leave the house till 9am. Bedtime is 10pm but J ends up sleeping almost 11pm. This is irresponsible and really annoys me. If I had a crystal ball to foresee this I would not agree to have a second child. Again reminder to self - DO NOT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE. It is pointless to have many children when your one and only husband is not supportive of you emotionally and physically. I say emotional and physical because hubby is not stingy financially. In fact he is quite generous and has never refused to give me money for the household and for our children. The downside to this is that he thinks money is the solution to most problems. A typical example is get a maid to do household chores which he thinks is beneath him. Few years back when we were living in the apartment, I asked him to help out with the household chores. We had a big fight. He suggested to get a maid. It was only the two of us back then mind you. He is the epitome of chauvinism. In fact child raising is entirely the responsibility of the mother. Now where would the both of you be if your father was not part of the equation?
I blame no one. It is the path that I have chosen and therefore I have to face the consequences and live with it. Perhaps I have been betrayed by my own youth and naievity. Yes it must be so. Barely 29 and I already have 2 children, many of my friends are still discovering themselves and all that the world has to offer. But I love my 2 children; whom I am so proud of and for which I thank God everyday.
To start off, there was no celebration because I am still under confinement. Neither were there any surprises, flowers or even a card. But that's Okay because I have learnt not to expect anything. When you expect things and don't get them you, the only person who gets disappointed and crushed is yourself. So yes, I have realised that a long time ago.
I am told that when one is under confinement, one must not cry. Every tear drop is likened to a drop of blood. It is said that if you cry during confinement, you will become blind (Version 1) or you will have poor eyesight in the future (Version 2). Either one is bad news. But cried I did. A whole bucket load of tears. I cried for 3 hours. I cried and cried and cried until I might as well have used up my entire life's quota of tears until I had no more. But I was wrong I later found out because I cried again today.
The million dollar question is why I cried so much. I attribute it to a number of things but mainly its a build up of pent up emotions of sorts. I know that a tiny new baby brings so much joy. But it also comes with it a slew of not so joyful moments ie. exhaustion from round the clock attention that the baby demands: breast feeding, pumping, changing of diapers when baby poos - up to 10 times of poo a day, washing bottles, preparing milk, rocking baby to sleep when she is cranky and the list goes on. Only a mother who fully breastfeeds will understand. All this has made me sleep deprived. How I long for a straight 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep to rest my tired soul and body. I suppose I could take the easy way out and leave everything to the confinement lady and let her feed formula milk but I refuse to do this to my child. No matter how difficult it is I am bent on breastfeeding my children because it is the best for them. And my hard work has paid off because I have enough breastmilk to sustain Sophie.
Because of the exhaustion and sleep deprivation, I have become depressed (using this term loosely). What I really need is for hubby to empathise with me and show some appreciation. A simple "I may not understand completely what you are going through but I know it hasn't been easy. I want you to know I appreciate all that you are doing and Thank You for doing what you do!!" would have made me feel appreciated. Instead he does not spend time with me or Sophie choosing instead to watch TV and checking whatsapp all the time because he is part of various chat groups. He also promised to take care of Josiah but it has not relieved me of my duties, worries and stress. I have to wake them up in the mornings. He doesn't even clean him. School starts at 8.30am but they don't leave the house till 9am. Bedtime is 10pm but J ends up sleeping almost 11pm. This is irresponsible and really annoys me. If I had a crystal ball to foresee this I would not agree to have a second child. Again reminder to self - DO NOT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE. It is pointless to have many children when your one and only husband is not supportive of you emotionally and physically. I say emotional and physical because hubby is not stingy financially. In fact he is quite generous and has never refused to give me money for the household and for our children. The downside to this is that he thinks money is the solution to most problems. A typical example is get a maid to do household chores which he thinks is beneath him. Few years back when we were living in the apartment, I asked him to help out with the household chores. We had a big fight. He suggested to get a maid. It was only the two of us back then mind you. He is the epitome of chauvinism. In fact child raising is entirely the responsibility of the mother. Now where would the both of you be if your father was not part of the equation?
I blame no one. It is the path that I have chosen and therefore I have to face the consequences and live with it. Perhaps I have been betrayed by my own youth and naievity. Yes it must be so. Barely 29 and I already have 2 children, many of my friends are still discovering themselves and all that the world has to offer. But I love my 2 children; whom I am so proud of and for which I thank God everyday.
Friday, 10 May 2013
WELCOME TO THE WORLD SOPHIE GIRL!!!
This is an overdue post. And it is going to be a long one.
26/04/2013, Friday - you decided to make your grand entrance into the world. It all started the night before. There was a bit of bleeding and I felt tummy cramps and couldn't sleep. I dismissed the thought that I might go into labour because during check up with Dr N on Monday he said that you will not be born this week. However, there was "the show" on Friday morning so we decided to go see him at about 1pm after dropping Josiah at grandma's place. Imagine our surprise when Dr N told us that I was already 4cm dilated! So I was admitted into the labour room. The cardiotocograph aka CTG machine further revealed that I was already experiencing contractions though they were 10 minutes apart. Funnily, I didn't feel the contraction pain at all. I proudly announced to Daddy that I will not be needing any epidural this time. The last time I had epidural for Josiah and my labour lasted 17 hours! The epidural was really uncomfortable and I didn't think it really helped with easing the pain. Anyway, I have also been discussing with Daddy that I wanted to go sans epidural this time. After all, there are women who choose the natural route and abstain from any kind of painkiller.
Lo and behold, at about 2pm the contractions got stronger and quicker. Dr N decided to artificially break my water bag and it was not only uncomfortable but also painful. I started screaming. Dr N and Daddy suggested that I take the epidural as they didn't think I could handle the contractions which will get stronger when I approach delivery. I did not put up a fight. The contractions were really painful. I would rate it 8/10. I was already 6cm dilated. The midwife called for the anaesthesiologist to administer the epidural. Now, the epidural carries certain risks and poses some danger as the drug is injected into the spinal cord to numb the nerves from the back downwards. It must be very precise and the patient has to be very still. There is no room for error as any slip can result in paralysis. That is why I was made to sign a consent form prior to the epidural. Can you imagine how I have to endure the contraction pain and be still at the same time. But as I said, there is really no room for error. So I tried to be as still as possible. At that point of time, I was already digging into Daddy's flesh.
After the epidural and my requests to increase the dosage, the pain became somewhat bearable. At about 3pm the midwife checked my cervix and noted that I am fully dilated. She then called Dr N. Dr N arrived promptly and within a few minutes and after several pushes, you arrived at 3.16pm. We were overjoyed. Later I found out that it was a spontaneous vaginal delivery (SVD). Previously with Josiah, I had an assisted birth via vacuum. Daddy was there to witness your birth. He cut your umbilical cord. You weighed 3.1kg. Just the right size I'd say, not too big nor too small. Josiah was 2.98kg. You were so beautiful and perfect! I gave you a kiss on your cheek. The midwife then took you away to get cleaned. After about an hour later, you were brought to me to be breastfed. Your very first feed and you suckled so well! Po Po was there to see you too.
So the whole labour took about only 2 hours. I thank God for the quick and safe delivery.
Dr H then visited at about 6pm to report that you were doing fine after doing the necessary tests and routine examinations. Josiah also came to visit you but could only observe through the glass window. Everything seemed to be alright and your birth announcements were sent via sms, whatsapp and also on facebook. Daddy and Josiah were preparing to leave at about almost midnight when the nurse suddenly told Daddy that the paed on call wanted to speak to him. I felt a bit suspicious too as I was wondering why the nurses didn't bring you to me to be breastfed after the initial one at about 4pm. When Daddy returned, he told me that you turned bluish and you were breathless due to low oxygen levels. There was also mention of doing a heart examination as there is a heart murmur. In the meantime they gave you oxygen and continued monitoring your condition. Breastfeeding was out of the question as it would make you even more tired. Imagine how worried I was. This was a shock to me as Dr H had just reported that you were fine a few hours ago. I could not sleep the entire night. I also tried hand expressing colostrum/milk and then use a small syringe to suck it up so that they could give it to you through a tube. The amount that I got was so little even after an hour.
The next morning I waited for Dr H to make her rounds so that I could enquire on your condition. When she finally did her rounds, she told me that it is most likely an infection and they need to do blood tests and if need be, antibiotics to be given to you intravenously. To make matters worse, she is going on leave for a few days and another paed, Dr D will take over from her. I was puzzled as to how you could have gotten infected. Later in the day, Dr D told us that you were responding well to the antibiotics (the antibiotics is Rocephin by the way). We were reluctant to subject a newborn to antibiotics but I suppose we did not have a choice then. He also told me, to my dismay, that it is a 5 day course antibiotics and because it is given through IV, you will have to stay in the hospital until you finish the course.
There was no point for me to extend my stay, since I could not breastfeed you. I checked out of the hospital on 28/4/2014 but you had to stay until at least 1/5/2013. The IV on your hand and tube in your throat pained my heart so much. I visited you everyday for you to suckle on my breast as I had to express milk at home to keep the supply coming. Thank God your condition had also improved. You had jaundice too, so you were also given photolight treatment during your stay.
Meanwhile at home, I tried to express milk as often as possible. But it was the beginning of a very painful and sad process. No matter how hard I tried, even after 1 whole hour, I only got droplets of milk. Not even 1ml. My nipples were sore. I was so disappointed. I drank lots of fluid, black dates and ginger tea, nursing tea and various supplements but to no avail. This continued on for several days, even after you were discharged. I was on the brink of depression. I have always been a strong advocate of breastfeeding as I believe that it is the best superfood for my child and it is also the ultimate love and sacrifice a mother makes for her child when she chooses this less traveled road. It is truly a labour of love.
But one's desire, no matter how pure often clashes with reality. Sometimes I wonder if it is a test that one must pass to ensure that we do not take things for granted and to make sure that we realise how much and how badly we want something to make it happen, so that when it happens, we can feel a sense of achievement and appreciation.
After many many days of persevering through sheer hardwork (round the clock feeding and pumping), pain (nipple, breast, neck, shoulder, back pains), sweat, tears and sleep deprivation, I am proud to announce that today, Day 15, I managed to pump 4oz of milk. It is a far cry from what I went through the first few days.
You, my dear 'Sophie girl' as I call you, eat, sleep and poop a lot all day, and scream your lungs out whenever you want milk, are blooming beautifully. It is pure joy to just stare at your beautiful and delicate face and smell you everyday. Your smell is the best smell in the world. No perfume can beat your smell.
You and Josiah are my world, my pride and my joy. Honestly, having the both of you is enough. I do not foresee having a third. Both of you will always have my love, and know that I have your best interests. I love you both so much!
26/04/2013, Friday - you decided to make your grand entrance into the world. It all started the night before. There was a bit of bleeding and I felt tummy cramps and couldn't sleep. I dismissed the thought that I might go into labour because during check up with Dr N on Monday he said that you will not be born this week. However, there was "the show" on Friday morning so we decided to go see him at about 1pm after dropping Josiah at grandma's place. Imagine our surprise when Dr N told us that I was already 4cm dilated! So I was admitted into the labour room. The cardiotocograph aka CTG machine further revealed that I was already experiencing contractions though they were 10 minutes apart. Funnily, I didn't feel the contraction pain at all. I proudly announced to Daddy that I will not be needing any epidural this time. The last time I had epidural for Josiah and my labour lasted 17 hours! The epidural was really uncomfortable and I didn't think it really helped with easing the pain. Anyway, I have also been discussing with Daddy that I wanted to go sans epidural this time. After all, there are women who choose the natural route and abstain from any kind of painkiller.
Lo and behold, at about 2pm the contractions got stronger and quicker. Dr N decided to artificially break my water bag and it was not only uncomfortable but also painful. I started screaming. Dr N and Daddy suggested that I take the epidural as they didn't think I could handle the contractions which will get stronger when I approach delivery. I did not put up a fight. The contractions were really painful. I would rate it 8/10. I was already 6cm dilated. The midwife called for the anaesthesiologist to administer the epidural. Now, the epidural carries certain risks and poses some danger as the drug is injected into the spinal cord to numb the nerves from the back downwards. It must be very precise and the patient has to be very still. There is no room for error as any slip can result in paralysis. That is why I was made to sign a consent form prior to the epidural. Can you imagine how I have to endure the contraction pain and be still at the same time. But as I said, there is really no room for error. So I tried to be as still as possible. At that point of time, I was already digging into Daddy's flesh.
After the epidural and my requests to increase the dosage, the pain became somewhat bearable. At about 3pm the midwife checked my cervix and noted that I am fully dilated. She then called Dr N. Dr N arrived promptly and within a few minutes and after several pushes, you arrived at 3.16pm. We were overjoyed. Later I found out that it was a spontaneous vaginal delivery (SVD). Previously with Josiah, I had an assisted birth via vacuum. Daddy was there to witness your birth. He cut your umbilical cord. You weighed 3.1kg. Just the right size I'd say, not too big nor too small. Josiah was 2.98kg. You were so beautiful and perfect! I gave you a kiss on your cheek. The midwife then took you away to get cleaned. After about an hour later, you were brought to me to be breastfed. Your very first feed and you suckled so well! Po Po was there to see you too.
So the whole labour took about only 2 hours. I thank God for the quick and safe delivery.
Dr H then visited at about 6pm to report that you were doing fine after doing the necessary tests and routine examinations. Josiah also came to visit you but could only observe through the glass window. Everything seemed to be alright and your birth announcements were sent via sms, whatsapp and also on facebook. Daddy and Josiah were preparing to leave at about almost midnight when the nurse suddenly told Daddy that the paed on call wanted to speak to him. I felt a bit suspicious too as I was wondering why the nurses didn't bring you to me to be breastfed after the initial one at about 4pm. When Daddy returned, he told me that you turned bluish and you were breathless due to low oxygen levels. There was also mention of doing a heart examination as there is a heart murmur. In the meantime they gave you oxygen and continued monitoring your condition. Breastfeeding was out of the question as it would make you even more tired. Imagine how worried I was. This was a shock to me as Dr H had just reported that you were fine a few hours ago. I could not sleep the entire night. I also tried hand expressing colostrum/milk and then use a small syringe to suck it up so that they could give it to you through a tube. The amount that I got was so little even after an hour.
The next morning I waited for Dr H to make her rounds so that I could enquire on your condition. When she finally did her rounds, she told me that it is most likely an infection and they need to do blood tests and if need be, antibiotics to be given to you intravenously. To make matters worse, she is going on leave for a few days and another paed, Dr D will take over from her. I was puzzled as to how you could have gotten infected. Later in the day, Dr D told us that you were responding well to the antibiotics (the antibiotics is Rocephin by the way). We were reluctant to subject a newborn to antibiotics but I suppose we did not have a choice then. He also told me, to my dismay, that it is a 5 day course antibiotics and because it is given through IV, you will have to stay in the hospital until you finish the course.
There was no point for me to extend my stay, since I could not breastfeed you. I checked out of the hospital on 28/4/2014 but you had to stay until at least 1/5/2013. The IV on your hand and tube in your throat pained my heart so much. I visited you everyday for you to suckle on my breast as I had to express milk at home to keep the supply coming. Thank God your condition had also improved. You had jaundice too, so you were also given photolight treatment during your stay.
Meanwhile at home, I tried to express milk as often as possible. But it was the beginning of a very painful and sad process. No matter how hard I tried, even after 1 whole hour, I only got droplets of milk. Not even 1ml. My nipples were sore. I was so disappointed. I drank lots of fluid, black dates and ginger tea, nursing tea and various supplements but to no avail. This continued on for several days, even after you were discharged. I was on the brink of depression. I have always been a strong advocate of breastfeeding as I believe that it is the best superfood for my child and it is also the ultimate love and sacrifice a mother makes for her child when she chooses this less traveled road. It is truly a labour of love.
But one's desire, no matter how pure often clashes with reality. Sometimes I wonder if it is a test that one must pass to ensure that we do not take things for granted and to make sure that we realise how much and how badly we want something to make it happen, so that when it happens, we can feel a sense of achievement and appreciation.
After many many days of persevering through sheer hardwork (round the clock feeding and pumping), pain (nipple, breast, neck, shoulder, back pains), sweat, tears and sleep deprivation, I am proud to announce that today, Day 15, I managed to pump 4oz of milk. It is a far cry from what I went through the first few days.
You, my dear 'Sophie girl' as I call you, eat, sleep and poop a lot all day, and scream your lungs out whenever you want milk, are blooming beautifully. It is pure joy to just stare at your beautiful and delicate face and smell you everyday. Your smell is the best smell in the world. No perfume can beat your smell.
You and Josiah are my world, my pride and my joy. Honestly, having the both of you is enough. I do not foresee having a third. Both of you will always have my love, and know that I have your best interests. I love you both so much!
Monday, 15 April 2013
My little big baby girl
At almost 37 weeks, my baby girl weighs 3.033kg in utero! The doc also says that she's got a big head. I hope I will be able to push and deliver her naturally despite her big head :) Josiah's birth weight was only 2.98kg. It does not matter how big she is as long as she is healthy.
Tuesday, 9 April 2013
Dear Daughter
Dear Daughter,
You will be 36 weeks in my tummy tomorrow. Everyday I am inching closer to the day of your arrival. Mummy is beyond excited and I can't wait to see you and hold you, my little precious, in my arms soon. Your kicking is still as fitful as ever and I hope you too are excited to meet Mummy, Daddy and koko. Koko loves you and yet he is protective of Mummy. Whenever you kick Mummy, koko will say this (in a stern tone): mei mei, don't kick, be good girl! I am sure you are a good girl. Mummy loves you soo much! xoxo
You will be 36 weeks in my tummy tomorrow. Everyday I am inching closer to the day of your arrival. Mummy is beyond excited and I can't wait to see you and hold you, my little precious, in my arms soon. Your kicking is still as fitful as ever and I hope you too are excited to meet Mummy, Daddy and koko. Koko loves you and yet he is protective of Mummy. Whenever you kick Mummy, koko will say this (in a stern tone): mei mei, don't kick, be good girl! I am sure you are a good girl. Mummy loves you soo much! xoxo
Friday, 22 March 2013
Pregnancy updates
I am now 33+ weeks along, and my tummy has grown so much over the last month that it's getting uncomfortable to sleep, eat and walk (or should I say waddle). Oh, I've also stowed way my rings as they are getting too snug to fit my swelling fingers. In fact every part is swelling up: my nose, my arms, my feet, my hips, just to name a few. Not forgetting to mention the numerous trips to the bathrooms in the middle of the night. Ah...the joys of pregnancy.
On another note, baby girl has been so active especially during the nights when I am trying to go to sleep. The feeling of her moving, dancing, somersaulting, hiccuping (yes, she hiccups a lot!) in my tummy is AMAZING! Though it can be a tad painful sometimes when I feel her sudden jabs whereupon her brother will say to her: "Don't kick mama, Sophie.." My own little protector, and yes, that's the name we are planning on giving to baby girl :)
On another note, baby girl has been so active especially during the nights when I am trying to go to sleep. The feeling of her moving, dancing, somersaulting, hiccuping (yes, she hiccups a lot!) in my tummy is AMAZING! Though it can be a tad painful sometimes when I feel her sudden jabs whereupon her brother will say to her: "Don't kick mama, Sophie.." My own little protector, and yes, that's the name we are planning on giving to baby girl :)
Monday, 4 March 2013
Potty training - check!
I am so proud of Josiah. In just 3 days (of serious full on potty training mode), he has been successfully potty trained! He is able to tell when he needs to shee-shee and when he wants to pang-sai. Sometimes, a little bit of wee-wee and stool stain his pants but I am confident that with a little bit more of practice and self-control, he will be fine. Of course, he still wears diapers when we take him out and when he sleeps, but other than that, he is diaper-free. He does not even wear diapers in school and so far he has never wet himself. Here are a few pointers to potty training as a reminder to myself for future use with our baby girl :)
The key to successful potty training is that the parent/caregiver must regularly ask the child whether he needs to relieve himself. More often than not, Josiah's answer is no. But when I bring the potty to him, he wees almost every time. Secondly, have the potty nearby at all times and make sure the child can see it. This is to get him into the habit of telling when he needs to relieve himself and a reminder to him that that is the place to go to when he needs to. On the flipside, if there is no potty within range, he is most likely to wet himself because by the time you actually bring to potty to him or take him to the toilet, it would be too late. Finally, I believe that there is no point in forcing your child to sit on the potty if he is not ready. At 2.5 years old, I know that Josiah has reached a certain level of maturity where he understands the concept of wee-wee and doing big business in the potty. Instead of scolding him for still wearing diapers, I encouraged him to use the potty. Even when he wet himself on a few occasions in the past, I do not yell at him but encourage him to do it in the potty next time. No doubt it is frustrating when he wets himself and the cleaning up that follows, but when you see results, it is well worth the extra mile and patience.
The key to successful potty training is that the parent/caregiver must regularly ask the child whether he needs to relieve himself. More often than not, Josiah's answer is no. But when I bring the potty to him, he wees almost every time. Secondly, have the potty nearby at all times and make sure the child can see it. This is to get him into the habit of telling when he needs to relieve himself and a reminder to him that that is the place to go to when he needs to. On the flipside, if there is no potty within range, he is most likely to wet himself because by the time you actually bring to potty to him or take him to the toilet, it would be too late. Finally, I believe that there is no point in forcing your child to sit on the potty if he is not ready. At 2.5 years old, I know that Josiah has reached a certain level of maturity where he understands the concept of wee-wee and doing big business in the potty. Instead of scolding him for still wearing diapers, I encouraged him to use the potty. Even when he wet himself on a few occasions in the past, I do not yell at him but encourage him to do it in the potty next time. No doubt it is frustrating when he wets himself and the cleaning up that follows, but when you see results, it is well worth the extra mile and patience.
Wednesday, 27 February 2013
Week 30 and counting down the days
My dear baby girl is 30 weeks now. The countdown has officially begun. I can't wait for her arrival. We had a photoshoot on Saturday featuring my maternity moments and also our family. The pictures are being edited now but here's a little sneak preview:-
My belly looks huge here and Josiah is so happy here. I think he is just as excited to meet his baby sister. I hear so many stories of jealousy and sibling rivalry. But Josiah is a lover. He loves seeing other babies and commenting on how cute they are. Whenever there is any reference to baby, he will immediately point at my growing belly. How sweet!
My belly looks huge here and Josiah is so happy here. I think he is just as excited to meet his baby sister. I hear so many stories of jealousy and sibling rivalry. But Josiah is a lover. He loves seeing other babies and commenting on how cute they are. Whenever there is any reference to baby, he will immediately point at my growing belly. How sweet!
Potty Training
I have decided to seriously start potty training Josiah as he is 2.5 years old now. In the past I occasionally keep him diaper-free at home to let him experience pee-peeing/poo-pooing in the potty. However, as the training is not consistent, he still asks to wear diapers and refuses to go to the potty/toilet voluntarily. Today is the second day he did not wear diapers to school and so far it has been accident-free. If only he was with me 24/7, I am pretty sure I can successfully potty train him fully in a matter of days. I do expect some accidents where he wets himself, but that is the norm. This morning however, I was so cross that I yelled at him so hard when he wet himself even though the potty was right next to him and I asked him to do it in the potty but he refused to. As a result, Josiah was frustrated himself and yelled back at me. Of course after that he came crying to me and asked me to sayang him back. Note to self: to be more patient, do not yell and get frustrated and never ever give up.
Tuesday, 22 January 2013
Short trip to KL over the weekend: 18-20 January 2012
We went to KL over the weekend as Daddy had to attend a wedding and I took the opportunity to meet up with some friends from KL whom I have not seen for a while. They were my colleagues back at LHAG where I did pupillage in 2006. It was nice seeing how everyone is doing well in the legal profession. I have to admit that catching up with them made me feel a little bit nostalgic.
Daddy of course wanted Josiah to come along for the short break. Seeing how he has been a good boy and settling well into his playschool, I agreed.
It was a short trip but Josiah enjoyed himself. Here are two pictures of him playing at the small play area outside Toy 'R Us in Mid Valley Megamall. I think it's a clever idea to have the play area to attract children and customers to to shop there. Daddy couldn't resist and gave in to his request, much to my chagrin, to buy Godzilla the monster (now why would anyone buy their kids monsters, right?) Anyway, he enjoyed playing at the play area. He got up the slide all by himself and went up and down the slide several times. After that, he was totally KO-ed so while he slept in his stroller, Daddy and myself treated ourselves to coffee and cakes at Plan b. My little cheeky boy is now 2y 4m+.
Baby loves to kick Mommy
Week 24 & 6 days: Baby girl is really active. Her kicks really pack a punch! If I lie down still, I can see my tummy jiggle. Not that I am complaining - I love to feel her move! Although when I was carrying Josiah, his movements were more gentle. I wonder if this means that baby girl will be very active and physical when she is out of my womb. I hope she will be a good girl with good temperament.
Wednesday, 2 January 2013
First day of school - no tears at all!
Josiah's first day of school went well. He made a new friend called Jaden immediately and they played together. When I told him I was leaving to go to work and that I'd come pick him up later, he answered 'OK'. His class is from 8.30am to 11.30am. When daddy and I picked him up from school, the teacher said he did not cry at all. I'm so proud of my little boy. He is attending Taska Twinkle Tots this year and next year he will be off to Rajawali. I pray that he will enjoy school, make new friends and learn to be more disciplined.
Baby is growing well. Last scan revealed that she has long legs (like mummy). She kicks A LOT! I love it when she does that. I'm assured that she is well and active.
I have also been searching high and low for a confinement lady. I have called almost 50 of them and they are all booked. I hope we can find one soon, otherwise I will have to go to Jia Yi. This time I would prefer to be at home because Josiah will miss me...and vice versa! It will also be easier for daddy as he does not have to travel back and forth to visit me.
Today is the second day of 2013 - Happy New Year! I look forward to this year, especially the birth of baby girl and anticipate lots of excitement and new experiences motherhood brings.
Baby is growing well. Last scan revealed that she has long legs (like mummy). She kicks A LOT! I love it when she does that. I'm assured that she is well and active.
I have also been searching high and low for a confinement lady. I have called almost 50 of them and they are all booked. I hope we can find one soon, otherwise I will have to go to Jia Yi. This time I would prefer to be at home because Josiah will miss me...and vice versa! It will also be easier for daddy as he does not have to travel back and forth to visit me.
Today is the second day of 2013 - Happy New Year! I look forward to this year, especially the birth of baby girl and anticipate lots of excitement and new experiences motherhood brings.
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